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2020-09-29 e
The First Debate II

Which Drugs Should Biden Take Pre-Debate?

With the first presidential debate now just hours away, President Trump continues to insist that Joe Biden take a drug test. Trump’s none-too-subtle insinuation is that the former vice president is so mentally frail that he cannot hope to match the vaulting intellect of the 45th president of the United States on the debate stage.

It’s a peculiar form of Trumpian baiting - something the President has probably learned from the world of Mixed Martial Arts - or perhaps the product of a guilty conscience. Trump himself famously sniffed his way through his first debate with Hillary Clinton four years ago, and there’s been plenty of speculation over the years that the President consumes medicinal substances to combat some form of attention-deficit disorder.

Cockburn won’t weigh in on the specifics. But if Biden were to use drugs for tonight’s performance, which ones should he take? Because make no mistake, Biden should absolutely be taking drugs prior to Tuesday’s debate.

Pro athletes all take performance enhancing drugs, after all, and winning a presidential election is at least as important as hitting 40 home runs or making the Pro Bowl, or something.

Fortunately, Cockburn is a writer, which means he has countless friends who are perpetually in one sort of drug-induced haze or another. They quickly supplied suggestions. (read more)

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