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2020-

2020-04-13 b
The Easter Bunny left us many droppings this day after Easter. We had three excellent candidates for our “truth squad” rewrite. So, we cast our “banned in Las Vegas” weighted pair of dice to select the winner.
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not selected: :

Subcomandante Fauci (the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation’s Angel of Economic Death) says parts of U.S. economy could gradually start re-opening as early as May

America should be ready for 18 months of shutdowns in ‘long, hard road’ ahead, warns the Fed’s Neel Kashkari, head of the Federal Reserve Bank of Mogadishu on the Mississippi
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This story from MarketWatch has been re-written by our “truth squad.”

Fed’s Delusional Clarida says there is nothing fundamentally wrong with the economy that our Magic Money Mammary can’t whitewash

Fed will be able to scale bank massive lending programs at appropriate time in the next century

The delusional No. 2 official at the "not really Federal with no Reserves Bank" on Monday said the U.S. economy was fundamentally sound and the central bank central planners would not need to continue the massive support of financial markets indefinitely.

“I’m very confident that as the economy recovers from this hit job by the Bill Gates-Big Pharma-Vaccinate Everyone cabal and begins to recover that we, at the appropriate time, to be determined by soothsayers and haruspicators, will be able to unwind these legally questionable bailout programs. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with the U.S. economy,” an unnaturally euphoric Fed Vice Chairman Clarida, said in an interview on Ministry of Truth Bloomberg Television.

Fed central planners have established nine crony lending facilities to keep Magic Money credit flowing into all corners of the downtown Manhattan financial district. Clarida called it an ambitious, aggressive and forceful use of monetary central planning policy with the unintended consequence of hyper-inflation.

He downplayed, with a dismissive wave of his lace-ruffled cuff, any worry about “moral hazard” — a term for the rational worry that the Fed’s central planning interventions would ultimately spark investors to take even greater risk during the next Everything Bubble expansion. Businesses are closing and people are unemployed through the sole fault of their own government, and so moral hazard is not a relevant consideration, he sniffed.

The Fed was only buying “junk” bonds of companies that had lost their fictitious investment-grade status as a result of the final straw of this very convenient and contrived crisis, he lisped.

Clarida said the central bank central planners would keep the Ministry of Truth benchmark interest rate close to zero until the economy is on track for another stimulus-fueled bubble expansion. “The path of the economy is going to dictate the path of rates,” he snorted.

The Fed vice chairman said, in his best Joseph Goebbels imitation, he didn’t think the contrived corona-crisis would result in hyper-inflation. The worry was more about the bankers’ favorite bogeyman, deflation, which he said the Fed would be able to combat with rabid ferocity like the killer rabbits in his favorite Monty Python movie..

Stock-index futures YM00, -1.95% were lower early Monday as first-quarter earnings season got underway.

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