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The No Times
comments, ephemera, speculation, etc.
(protected political speech and personal opinion)


Our "truth squad" re-writes are educational lampoons. We craft them to simulate what their original author would have written if honesty and candor (with a touch of humor) were commonplace. We take great pride that our re-writes infuriate the NPR and New York Times crowd. Here are previous comments concerning our collaborative re-writes:

2020-03-27 d
Our "truth squad" re-writes.

Thank you for your feedback regarding our re-writes. We’ve settled on these modern parables to further our mission to dismantle the barricades and tear down curtains as we search for the truth. As we poke fun at the pompous and petty, we employ the timeless adage of François-Marie Arouet (Voltaire), who wrote: “To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.”

We'll bring you more of these in the coming weeks because:
 1, these are fun to write
 2. these are popular
 3. these modern parables, with a touch of humor and a heavy dose of truth are exactly what we need in these dystopian times.

2020-03-26 d
The Which Trials

Cambridge, Mass. – Our intrepid reporter, now walking casually on Mt. Auburn Street, sent us this text:
It’s true. The Which Trials have started. They want to know which, if any, current students, are collaborating with the Harvard College alumnus publishing The No Times, based in the Icelandic capital. They have convened the trials in the currently deserted dining hall of the god-awful-ugly brutalist monstrosity of Mather House. Well, actually, the dining hall is never truly deserted – it is home to a thriving population of irradiated, mutant, glow-in-the-dark cockroaches that no one wants to exterminate.

Mather House, named for the Puritan child prodigy and polymath, the Rev. Mather, is a fitting venue. In fact, a Mather relic, removed with great ceremony from the climate-controlled, seventh sub-basement of the Houghton Library, is the jurist. His ivory dentures are taken out of a velvet-lined, gold-inlaid, ebony box and placed on a silver platter attributed to Paul Revere, the noted silversmith. The dentures chatter amiably throughout the proceedings, sounding much like a cheerful minuet, but veer leftward to answer, “No.” and rightward, to answer, “Yes.”

The CIA Director, Chemical Gina, is the interrogator. She brought several boxes of syringes and she knows how to use them.

2020-03-26 c
Please note that any similarities our “truth squad” shares with the creative output of the Harvard Lampoon are entirely coincidental.
We wouldn't want the South Asian Dean married to a Catholic girl to take any rash actions and start expelling students with promising futures in writer's rooms in LA and New York.


Permission is hereby granted to any and all to copy and paste any entry on this page and convey it electronically along with its URL,

 News and facts for those sick and tired of the National Propaganda Radio version of reality.

- Unlike all the legacy media, our editorial offices are not in Langley, Virginia.

- You won't catch us fiddling while Western Civilization burns.

Close the windows so you don't hear the mockingbird outside, grab a beer, and see what the hell is going on as we witness the controlled demolition of our society.

- The truth usually comes from one source. It comes quietly, with no heralds. Untruths come from multiple sources, in unison, and incessantly.

- The loudest partisans belong to the smallest parties. The media exaggerate their size and influence.

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If you let them redefine words, they will control language.
If you let them control language, they will control thoughts.
If you let them control thoughts, they will control you. They will own you.

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